I wish so very much that I had sense enough to do what I tell my college writing students to do–proofread and edit written work before turning it in. And I do, of course, when I’m working on an article, story, or essay, for example. But texting? That’s a whole other bull game, I mean ball game. There are several issues. First, my right thumb (which I text with) …
… is about the size of a turkey peg, I mean leg, you buy at a Medieval Reenactment Weekend. I very frequently hit the keys neighboring the key I actually want to hit, Wreck-It-Ralph-ishly. And that causes communism, I mean communication problems, as well as wasted time.
Second, I have this idea that text messaging is like talking. Seriously, when you are standing next to your friend Gertrude, and she asks you a question, you answer right then, not stare at her for fifteen minutes, or two days, and then answer. Right?
Well, I got the iPhone a couple of years ago. Before that I had this ridiculously outdated belief that a phone was a device with which to TALK to other people. I know, I know. Stoopid.
Very soon I was sucked into the crazy world of wild massaging, I mean messaging. I fell in love with it. Who wouldn’t? Just text Gertrude, “Hey Soul Sister. Sup?” instead of having to talk dirty, I mean thirty minutes. My problem, and apparently many folks’ problem, is that we text too fast. And make big cakes, I mean mistakes.
Here’s a blog posting on this subject from hilarious Chris Hinton’s incredibly funny and intelligent blog, The Dimwit Diary. The post is called “Ten Famous Autocorrected Quotes.” (You might need to silence your political correctness a moment for this.)
Have a great lay, I mean pay, I mean gay, I mean say, I mean way, I mean bay, I MEAN DAY!