Posts Tagged ‘Duck Dynasty’

Breaking News — New, Easy Way to Be Happy!

I had a 9:00 massage therapist appointment this morning but got to the Sandfly location far too early. I found myself with about thirty minutes to kill. What to do?

Well, if I had been closer to the mall, I would have burned some calories mall-walking. Then it hit me–Walmart is close by! So I headed into the superstore to Walkmart a while. Lo and behold, I was immediately accosted by a huge Duck Dynasty cutout figure hawking eyeglass frames. That gave me a brilliant idea–I’ll combine my weight loss Walkmarting with going around to various Duck Dynasty merchandise displays [slingshots, bandages, hats, clothing, flashlights, lip balm, condoms (well, I wouldn’t be surprised)] and messily rearranging/hiding all the DD items to make it difficult for customers to find that stuff.  Really, who would think to look under the 300-count sheets for camouflaged lip balm packages?

About ten minutes into my nefarious (but needed) mission, karma paid me back for my bad behavior when I bumped into a brand new display in the middle of an aisle, a display which makes my happiness blog obsolete.

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It seems that all you need to Be Happy now is new underwear.

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After placing a couple dozen Duck Dynasty toenail clippers behind some of the joyful underwear, I went on, a bit downcast, to my massage, trying to think about what I could blog on now.

Phil Robertson: “Marry Little Girls”

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Dear A&E:

Are you still supportive of Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson? He is now advocating MEN marrying little GIRLS.

That’s fine with you, A&E, right?

“You got to marry these girls when they are about 15 or 16, they’ll pick your ducks,” proclaims Phil.

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Five things I got for Christmas that I wasn’t expecting:

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1.  A great new cadre of friends who meet each Wednesday at 12:12 pm in a different Savannah Historic District square … to express gratitude!

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2.  A new puppy!  Okay, maybe “technically” grandsons Daniel and Gabriel got Spyro (named after the Skylanders game character) for THEIR Christmas present.  But after keeping him for three days (of five) while D and G and their parents have flown to Miami to frolic in the sun …

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… I am FULLY CONVINCED that Spyro loves me best.  Seriously!  And, really, the boys are so young, they’ll get over the heartbreak pretty soon, don’t you think?

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Spyro and I worked on our official portrait for a little while yesterday afternoon.  We have narrowed it down to four:

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Donald Neal Saye and Spyro Neal Bosch

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What do you think?

3.  A lot of Fake Snow

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(I’m not sure why I look SO crazed in that pic.  Like I’m on a fake snow high or something.)

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(This obsession with “snow” got started when friends Donnie and Kinzie …

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… Christmas-ing way up in Yankeeland Urbana, IL, had the nerve to say there really IS such a thing as snow, which is frozen and white and falls from the sky to make Christmases White.  Well, D and K, not in Savannah, it don’t!)

4.  Yet another new cadre of friends who meet each Friday evening in my new Washington Square neighborhood/ward.

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I’ll take more pics soon and share.  The gathering is called “Fancy Friday” because there used to be a fancy-ish dress code.

5.  Joy for no reason.  Other than it’s the holidays and a time to BE HAPPY.  BE.  BE  BE.

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Five things I didn’t get for Christmas that I was either expecting or wanting to receive:

1.  Some sort of an apology or reconciling statement from Duck Dynasty and patriarch Phil Robertson after his hateful and divisive diatribe about gays and blacks.  Instead, A & E reinstates him, while Walmart, with Paula Deen wares no longer available, continues to hawk a prejudiced ranter’s trade in a season of love, all in the name of free speech.  (Of course, we all know this is about the dollar, not equality or acceptance or love.)

2.  Speaking of the dollar, that big ole more-than-half-a-billion-dollar lottery winning recently.  If I had won … Is A & E for sale?

3.  Real snow.  (IF there is such a thing.)

4.  Liposuction.

5.  Everything on My Grown-Up Christmas List:

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So here’s my lifelong wish
My grown up Christmas list
Not for myself
But for a world in need

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Every man would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown up Christmas list

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May all our Holidays and Everydays be Filled with Healthy Joy!

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Sunday Morning Quote–12/22/13–“Make Us Channels and Instruments”

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This week has been a tough one, as far as Hateful Comments Gone Viral (via the Internet and social media) are concerned.  Head Duck Phil Robertson’s diatribe about gays and blacks made headlines (weblines?) worldwide, and just this morning PR (ironically enough) executive Justine Sacco of media company IAC shooed the ducks from the spotlight for a moment with her odious tweet about AIDS and Africa.  If that weren’t enough, the voice of the United Methodist Church spoke clearly this week when it defrocked (what an ugly-sounding word) UM Minister, the Rev. Frank Schaefer, who officiated at his son’s marriage … to another man.  (He refused to change his position on gay marriage.)

Our individual mouths, as well as our institutional ones, and the words sputtering forth from them, can produce such joy one moment and such misery the next.  I certainly know that bridling my tongue is one of my greatest challenges.

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Here’s my Sunday Morning Quote:

“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.”    Ephesians 4:29

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I love Assisi’s ancient Prayer for Peace:

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love; for it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

–St. Francis of Assisi (1181-1226)

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Let us set intentions this season to speak that which brings forth love and joy!  And let’s encourage our institutions to do the same.

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A Brief Bible Verse Memory Plan for Phil Robertson

“A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one for another.”
(John 13:34-35)

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”
(Gal 5:22-23)

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
(Eph 4:29)

“Judge not, lest ye be judged.”
(Matt 7:1)

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