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Four Things I Pretend to Like; Four Things I Like but Pretend Not To

Here are four things I pretend to like:

1.  Baked Lays.  I really want to like them because they are supposedly better for you, but to me they taste a little like very thin cardboard.  The next time I’m at Subway, I’m thinking about buying a bag of Baked Lays and a bag of regular Lays, switching the contents, and from then on keeping the regular bag with me as my cover.

2.  Wal-Mart Greeters.  I know, this is so mean of me, but REALLY, come on.

3.  Green Tea.  I drink it, but I don’t like it.

4.  Elves.  I don’t care if they’re from the North Pole or not, elves are creepy.  I know I’m a fine one to talk, with my ears and all, but still.

And here are four things I like but pretend not to:

1.  Susan Boyle.  She’s the best thing that’s come along since The Beatles.  I love this song:

(Maybe the outfits are a bit much for the English countryside.)

2.  Gold Bond Powder.  You don’t want me to get started.  Let’s just say that if I can’t find my GB, everything this blog stands for disappears.  EVERYTHING!







3.  Pork Rinds.   Barbequed, the kind they peddle at the Statesboro Fair in that little back alley where all the locally made food items are sold.  I buy one BIG bag for immediate consumption and another for a midnight snack.  The barbequed variety are really pretty hot, and I can’t feel my mouth for a day or two after the gorging, but they are worth the temporary inconvenience.

4.  The Greeters at Moe’s.  Like everyone else, I make fun of them: “Welcome to Moe’s!” I jokingly yell occasionally.  But when I rush in for the Ruprict Nachos at lunchtime, and the workers behind the sneeze guard greet me with such enthusiastic passion, I get a little choked up, like they really care, and that I’m, well, “home.”  (Now, if the Wal-Mart greeters did the same thing, the first list might just have three instead of four items.)

Now you know.  And you’re smarter because of the knowing.

7 thoughts on “Four Things I Pretend to Like; Four Things I Like but Pretend Not To

  1. I can agree with you on Baked Lays and Green Tea. The tea is supposed to be good for me with antioxidants and other chemicals God made…the kind I drink has no taste though.

    Pork rinds – yum…don’t care who knows.

    Bee Gees & Andy Gibb – still won’t cop to liking them in certain circles but they could write and sing.

    Steven Seagal movies – I know he won’t win any gold statues but I like the judo and that the bad guys get waxed….ditto many of the Govenator’s flicks too.

    The biggie that I’m supposed to like but don’t really: The Beatles. I write lyrics and can appreciate their talent and work. However, I’d rather hear the Stones, Led Zep, or The Who.

    And, I pretend not to like the Atlanta Hawks A-Town dancers when we go to Philips for a game but I don’t think anybody’s buying it.


  2. Huh. I don’t like any of those things. Especially elves.

    Well, to be honest, I’m unfamiliar with Susan Boyle and Gold Bond powder…. but I think I’ll keep not liking them just to be consistent.

    Looking forward to reading your blog! Been a few years, but I still remember the Writing Project years… one of the best things I’ve ever done!


  3. Yeah i really don’t like the beatles either. maybe they were great for their time, but listening to it now sounds like something they put no effort into.
    I pretend to like a lot the cheap cigars i smoke with my friends but unless it is a very expensive one, it just isn’t that good.


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