Posted in Humor

Kanye’s onto Something Big!

Did you see this important announcement?

I love this idea. It’s brilliant! He’s brilliant! It’s healthy! It’s word dieting!

People with long names or names that are difficult for me to remember (90% of all names) should join Ye’s revolution.

For example, take that fellow who said we should all get into “The Flow” to be happy and successful. Remember him? Csikszentmihalyi?

(I just had to take a 15 minute break after simply typing his name. Ruined my blogging flow.)

So anyway, how can I be expected to FLOW when I’m b(l)ogged down with his 20-letter name? I wouldn’t have to be so befuddled if he would simply Ye his name to Yi. Problem solved!

Or take politics.

(Please take politics!)

All that ugly name calling and acrimony might just be taken down a few notches if Kanye, I mean Ye, would be taken seriously and given the respect he deserves.

Let’s start with the President. Well, the President according to a little over half of the nation. Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. Did you know his middle name is Robinette? Seriously? What were his folks thinking?!

Here’s want Ye and I suggest. “Joseph Robinette Biden Jr.” is Ye’d down to “Bi.” That way the buzz around the President would switch from infrastructure and debt ceiling fighting to Bi’s sexuality. Which is far more intriguing, especially in a fellow his age. (And we all know that Jill is outta the White House often to teach at that community college.)

And what about Donald John Trump, the current President to a little less than half the nation? I just got off the phone with Ye, and we agree the former/current President Trump should now go by …

“Rump.” It’s an easy one syllable (I think), and it sorta fits in a couple of ways.

If the shoe fits.

All that Ye-ing forced me to take a serious look at my own rather messy blog name and see if it could be Ye’d. So from now on, NealEnJoy will simply be “Oy!” Doesn’t that sound hip? It did until Ye looked it up in Merriam-Webster and explained what Oy means.

Oy, gotta rethink my blog name!

I’ll get back with you when Ye and I have a chance to come up with a new name. But I’m afraid it may take a while since Ye told me he’s running for President … again. Isn’t that great news?! Problem is he’s having to send back truckloads of campaign materials because of the name change.

Head’s up: The blog may have to go on hiatus since I’m hitting the campaign trail soon. And I came up with Team Ye’s slogan.

“Ye America Wee Again!”

Posted in Life Truths

Asphalt Truth

At a recent session, my therapist, attempting to get me a bit more grounded in reality, gave me an assignment: “Neal, why don’t you try to come up with a few REALISTIC affirmations about areas of your life where you would like to see meaningful improvement?” (Interpretation: what I tell myself maybe isn’t always rooted in actuality. Hmm, I don’t see what’s wrong with “Tonight is my turn to win Powerball.”)

Here’s one I came up with: “I love today. I love right now. Well, maybe I don’t exactly love today or love right now, but I am glad I have a today and a right now to have positive or negative feelings about.”

And although I don’t really like this next one, I appreciate its realistic groundedness: “I own it all—Everything I’ve ever done. Because there is no do-over button for life.” (But I do wish Apple would just go ahead and create one.)

But yesterday my buddy Mark texted me a quote which is SO much more intelligent and effective than my “no do-over” affirmation …

Asphalt truth!

Posted in Humor, Neal's Writing, New, Savannah Joy, The Joy and Wisdom of Children, Transition, Uncategorized, Where Happiness Finds You

The Bear and the Unicorn

For my recent suxteee-seckth birthday, I celebrated with my big ole’ modern family …

… at Savannah’s Tequila’s Town restaurant in Sandfly.

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(Seriously?  Can you believe they come hooting “Happy Bday” laden with tequila for the celebrant!  Even though I had my large head prepared for an oversized sombrero and some flan.)

Post-tequila I received some neat gifts, but perhaps my Favorites came from five-year-old grandtwins Madison (inappropriately pictured above next to the tequila) and Matthew. Their mom let them pick out their gifts for me.  Madison gave me a pink unicorn in a love mug …

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…while Matthew opted for a brown bear that actually smells like chocolate when you rub it vigorously!

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(Matthew is in an over-smiling-for-the-camera stage.)

Oh, they also each got me a large skein of yarn–yellow from Madison and green from Matthew.  Not that I knit (who has the patience for that?!), but because they like to unravel the yarn, make giant spiderwebs and throw it all over the furniture and each other.

Thus, inspired by the tequila, when I got home I opted for a quick photoshoot to document my suxteee-seckth.

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Moral of Story:  the strangest little gifts ofttimes make for the biggest shots of … Joy.