This blog category is the journaling and journey-ing of my quest to say (with cautious sincerity) “Hello, Anxiety” and to take a look at the condition from my “me-andering” views.
If you read my most recent “Hello, Anxiety” post, you may remember that for a variety of mostly sensible reasons, I have nicknamed my anxiety “Truffles.” In a nutshell, I’m trying (gritted teeth) to recognize anxiety as a part of my experience. And to back off from automatically wanting to fight it as my mortal enemy.
Well today HR (Husband Robert) and I were in Big Kroger here in Savannah, stocking up on supplies for the upcoming Easter egg hunt with the grandkids.
“Wait,” you interrupt, “Why call it BIG Kroger?” Because it’s GIGANTIC. I have to use GPS to find Spam. What? You don’t eat Spam? Okay. Whatever.
It’s a twenty minute Uber ride to the cracker aisle.
Anyway, I was walking (exhausted) down Aisle 2043 looking for colorful napkins when I stumbled into Truffles.
She/he/they was/were standing there, resplendently purple. Queenly. Kingly. I tried to walk past, pretending I didn’t see.
But I couldn’t. I stared. Transfixed. I picked Truffles up. Held him/her/them in my hands.
And for the first time in a long time (maybe forever), I was able to laugh, LAUGH, at my anxiety. Perhaps, laugh WITH my anxiety. In Big Kroger of all places.
I placed anxiety back on the shelf. Started to walk away. Finished with the little play.
Robert looked at me, stopping me, and said, “Neal, who knows when we will be back here, or if it will still be on the shelf.”
Irritated, I stood there.
Between Robert and anxiety. Then sighed, walked to the checkout counter.
And actually BOUGHT the f***ing TRUFFLES chips.
Like, paid for them/it/him/her.
Is this a new relationship?
More to come.