So today, after buying the winning ticket for Monday Night’s $1.5 billion Mega Millions Lottery …
… a distressing thought occurred to me, interrupting my more-pleasant day dream about the hippest colors for matching Land Rovers for Robert and me. The Distressing Thought:
“What if, because of some Freak Accident by The Universe, I DON’T WIN?!”
After hyperventilating and falling into the depths of despair far too long for a man of my age, I finally came to my senses, realizing that there’s more than one way to get 1.5 billion dollars. Duh.
Then, Creative that I am, it didn’t take me long to come up with a viable Plan B.
A PICKLE BUSINESS!
Right?! Yes?! You with me?
I got to work, feeling so lucky that HR and I had just purchased some beautiful fancy cucumbers.
TIB (Truth in Blogging): Robert prepped the cucumbers, using his Fancy Stainless Steel Kitchen Mandoline Slicer thingy, which he won’t let me ANYWHERE near. He says I would kill myself because of my wandering attention span.
See? You’re believing in me now, I bet.
The name of my new $1.5 Billion Pickle Company?
“NEAL’S DILLS,” of course.
NealEnJoy 