Posted in Growing Older, Humor

How to Photograph a Septuagenarian

Now that youth is a far distant memory, and I’m just a couple of months away from turning … from turning … from turning … 70, I’d like to instruct anybody who ever points a camera (well, phone—does anybody use a camera any more ?) in my direction. Here are 10 foolproof suggestions.

1. Take my picture in the snow.

2. Have me get on a giant bed.

3. Let me hold my unicorn.

4. Have me stand on a bridge over troubled waters.

5. Incorporate mirrors.

6. Have me sit in a house with one window.

7. Make the best of focus.

8. Have me sit far away from the paparazzi.

9. Let me hold my big bird.

And 10. Push me in the pool.

There you go. No close-ups. Simple and easy.

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Okay, I’m joking. I love my age and where I am in life.