Last evening, Robert and I headed over to Big Bon Pizza in the hip Starland District of Savannah. (Being so hip myself, I like going to hip locations. As long as my right hip cooperates.) After voraciously enjoying their WONDERFUL hot-outta-the-brick-oven pizza …
… the Universe spoke to me as I waddled past Big Bon Bodega/Big Bon Pizza’s sandwich board:
An enlightening message I most definitely need to heed much more often!
(Even with the comma issue. 😩 Retired English professor.)
Here’s my mental activity as I continued waddling to the car:
Now isn’t that better?
Wait a second! Halt the waddling! Did I really just proofread and edit THE UNIVERSE?!
Hello. Neal Saye here. Long time, no see. I’m not sure if anyone is still out there, but I have decided to blog a bit more.
It’s getting late on a Sunday evening (and the Braves are losing at the moment), so here is the gist of what’s on my heart tonight: what we say to ourselves on an ongoing basis is very important.
Yesterday morning, Robert and I did our more-often-than-not Saturday morning foray over to Big Bon Bodega (incredible bagel breakfast sandwiches) here in Savannah.
Boldly greeting us at the entry was Truthful Instruction:
Hello out there. I did this blog post quite a while ago, but thought in today’s adversarial political and cultural environment, it might be relevant. We (okay, I!) judge others much too quickly.
Let’s try, in this new year with relatively few mistakes in it so far, to give each other the benefit of the doubt, to refuse to label somebody or some thing based on initial interactions or our preconceived notions.
What an incredible truth! (And, oh gosh, how it indicts me.)
I LOVE this short video about labeling:
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2018: A Label-Free Year (at least for you and me).
This past fall term at SCAD (the Savannah College of Art and Design), where I teach composition to international students, my course topic was happiness studies.
Each week, I introduced a new question, which I told the students had the potential to make them happier–IF they took the time to ask and then answer the question.
Here are the ten questions. I challenge you to ask them to yourself whenever you need a dose of joy.
Dr. Saye’s Top Ten Happiness Questions
1. Just how important is it?
2. Do I realize that I can choose to think a thought that feels better?
3. Why do I sometimes try to control other people? That’s really not my job.
4. What do I see RIGHT NOW that is beautiful?
5. Who has helped me recently?
6. What is a good holiday memory?
7. What do I really, really love?
8. Do I realize that I can take three deep breaths right now and center myself? My breath is my life.
9. Who can I be a blessing to in the next hour or so? How can I do that?
10. Am I paying attention to NOW (and not wasting time regretting the past or worrying about the future)?
I encourage you to print these questions out, put them up some place where you can easily see them, and start asking.
Have you done so this holiday? Blessings come in SO many forms and dressings. I urge you to take a sheet of paper and number your joys. Here is a sampling of mine:
1. I had to miss my seven year-old grandson Daniel’s first piano recital earlier this week. (I was SO frustrated.) Tonight at my family’s early Christmas dinner, I walked in the door and daughter Amy had arranged for Daniel to dress back up in his Calvin Klein suit and play Jingle Bells (as he did at the recital). It melted my heart.
(Okay, I’m not sure about the sunglasses either.)
(Absolute grandfather joy.)
Here’s Daniel at the actual recital:
2. The ability to smell Christmas.
3. Enjoying the power of silly.
4. Hosting a Holiday and Hot Toddy Chili Party Saturday night.
What fun!
Good buddies Ellie, Jamie and Brennan.
I read “A Cup of Christmas Tea” to the twenty-something guests–and asked them to think about a person important in their upbringing to toast at the end of the story. I urge you to do the same. Who encouraged you along your way?
“Let’s raise a cup of Christmas cheer, to family and loved ones far and near.”
So take a few moments, and with Bing, count your blessings:
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5. Tree shadows on a wall during a walk the other night.
What are a few of your Holiday Blessings? Come on, share a few.
Several years ago, after my underground (!) gym (really, it was underneath Broughton Street) closed in the historic district of Savannah where I live, I joined the nearby Habersham YMCA. I had never belonged to a YMCA before–but I had danced to the song.
From the very first day I have been SO impressed with the folks who work at the Habersham Y. They are without exception welcoming, encouraging and fun to see each time I waddle in.
ALWAYS smiling, the MOST encouraging, MOST positive, FRIENDLIEST Habersham employee has to be RICHARD JOHNSON.
I’ve never seen Richard without a smile on his face and a cheerful word to share. He most definitely meets the criteria of a Balcony Person (Balcony Post Link One, Link Two). Balcony people are those folks you come in contact with who encourage you, bless you, inspire you, give of themselves in some way. They climb the steps up into your balcony, so to speak, lean over the railing and yell, “You’re doing fine! Keep going! You look great! You’re almost there!”
So it is with Richard. As he wheels through the busy gym, his voice can be heard above the whir of elliptical machines and the clang of free weights, greeting every person he sees: “Hey, Neal” “How you doing, Carl?” “Come on now, Janice, you can do more than that!” “Alright now!” Richard is the very definition of a Balcony Person. He infuses the Habersham YMCA with encouragement and joy.
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I asked Richard a few questions about himself and his views about happiness.
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Thanks to Richard and folks like him who help make ho-hum days into Occasions of Happiness.
To Encourage Sincerely perhaps ranks at the top of gifts we can give one to another. I will never forget the first time my daughter Amy and I ran, with tens of thousands of other runners, the annual July 4th 10K Peachtree Road Race in Atlanta. (Perhaps “ran” is much too dynamic a word to describe what I did during those 6.2 miles.) At each mile marker, and actually various places in-between, folks would appear in my peripheral vision with cups of cold water in outstretched hands, yelling phrases such as, “Keep it up, #4932, you can do it!” and “Just look at you running so fast!” I would turn a corner or reach a hilltop and hear blaring cheerily from loudspeakers the theme song from “Chariots of Fire” or “Rocky.” Such encouragement made me feel like an actual runner.
In a post from way back, I introduced the concept of Balcony People: “Balcony people are those folks in your life who encourage you, lift you up, give of themselves to you in some way. They make you feel valuable and important. They climb the steps up into your balcony, lean over the railing, gaze back down at you as you struggle through life and yell, ‘You can make it! Keep going!'”
In another post, Balcony People-Part Two, I introduced five guiding principles of Balcony People:
“1. Balcony People are willing to take risks. Because when we reach outside of ourselves to help or encourage someone else, we take the chance of being rejected, laughed at, embarrassed, or even thought of as a little weird. ‘Old Man Saye, why do you keep telling me my yellow dress is just so very pretty?! Please back away me!'”
2. BP realize that what you reap, you sow. Staying in balconies makes you happier and healthier. Crouching in dank basements is unhealthy.
3. BP give to give, not to get. Because giving away good to others is simply the right thing to do.
4. BP look for the good in others. They realize the truth of the statement that we usually find what we’re looking for.
5. BP express encouragement sincerely. They don’t flatter or lie. Okay, maybe except when I couldn’t think of anything good to say about one student’s essay, and all I could come up with was, ‘Cool font.'”
I know I have mentioned on the blog before that Kathryn Stockett’s The Help stands as one of the best novels I have read in the past few years. I loved the story of black maids in the 1960’s south so much that I used it in several composition classes at Georgia Southern. The book went over amazingly well, with many students telling me that they loved the book and would be passing it along to friends and family to read (and also telling me, disturbingly, that the book was the first one they had ever actually ever gotten all the way through). The book ENCOURAGES the voiceless to realize that yes, they too have voices.
In the twenty-second scene below from the movie version of The Help, Aibilene explains to her young charge exactly what the girl is, and what she needs to believe about herself. Oh, how our world would be beautifully improved if we would all see each other the way Aibilene sees Mae Mobley.
I know that sounds somewhat Harry Potterish. But I NEED A SYMBOL!
Let me back up.
I have always found the subject of symbolism fascinating.
I bet you know what they all stand for, right? No? Can’t quite place the last one? (Hint: “Purple Rain”) (Follow-up to preceding hint: I would say that Prince is a strange character, but that would make me hypocritical after yesterday’s affirmation, so I won’t.) Symbols are ubercool–instant communication without words.
Don’t ask me why, but for some reason I looked up “symbol” on UrbanDictionary.com, and here’s a sampling of what I got:
Symbol: A friend added in Facebook strictly for use in a Facebook game. ”I got several collectible tree gifts from my symbol friend.”
Symbol: Superfly guy. ”Symbol soars through the air hollerin’ with decked out 3′s and 7′s.”
Huh? What?
Symbol demon: Person who irritates everyone with cryptic symbols in his/her text messages. ”Dude! Look at this message – ‘hey WRUD now…coming for DNR2NTE?….TLK2UL8R…CU L8R’ – this guy is a symbol demon!”
Am I getting old?
After about twenty minutes, and wondering if nearly EVERY word in the English language really has some sexually explicit meaning, I left Urban Dictionary and went to BrainyQuote.com, where a symbol is (a bit boringly defined after UD as) “a visible sign or representation of an idea; anything which suggests an idea or quality, or another thing, as by resemblance or by convention; an emblem; a representation; a type; a figure; as, the lion is the symbol of courage; the lamb is the symbol of meekness or patience; the golden eagle is a symbol of Neal.” (Okay, that last part might not have been there.)
Finally, here’s the point of this posting: I WANT A SYMBOL FOR THE BLOG. Someone suggested Mr. Happy …
… but he’s more of the mascot for the blog. So help! Give me a few suggestions for a symbol which will represent the focus of NealEnJoy: Exploring and Encouraging a Healthy Life Marked with Joy.
Thanks! I look forward to reading about/seeing some of your suggestions ASAP. I always love getting comments and ideas from you guys.
NealEnJoy 
