This morning I’m marveling at how the “little things” we encounter in daily life can sometimes bring sudden bursts of joy to us.
“Close Encounters of the Little Kind”
A couple of weeks ago Robert and I were up near Monticello, NY and took a little walk. “Look, Neal!” he excitedly pointed, with a little too much morning verve for me. At first all I saw was a tree with splotchy marks on it, but getting closer I saw it … him … Mr. Tree!
And somehow Mr. Tree brought unexpected but welcome joy to our morning walk.
What little thing have you noticed lately that brought a smile or an “aww/awe” to your life?
4. The sleek new white chairs in my therapist Rubi’s office
I am a firm believer that therapists ALWAYS strategically place items in their waiting areas with hidden (HA!), underlying (probably-childhood related) purposes. Here’s my theory about the photo above.
On second thought, I’ll just let the redecorated room itself—and the therapists whose clients wait in the room—speak for itself and themselves:
“Hi there. And welcome back! Look at how fresh and clean everything looks in our, we mean YOUR, waiting area. A tabla rosa-ness to it, don’t you think? This session you’re about to have can be a new beginning to your mental health. But remember we have to do it in 50 minutes. Sit down and make yourself comfortable.”
“The slanting brown legs on the chair? We’re glad you noticed, but come on, you get that, we’re sure. No? Being grounded of course. Connecting to Mother Earth. Therapy doesn’t go straight down and to the point all at once, for goodness sake. It has to slant, meander, hiccup around for a spell. Sometimes quite a spell. Over MULTIPLE 50-minute sessions. And the FOUR legs? Why earth, wind, fire and water, of course.”
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I’m sorry but I need to interrupt the room and the therapists for a second here. I took the above photo three weeks ago when the room was just being redone. Look closely at the seat part of the chair. See sort of a crack or opening? I did. And since Rubi had not called me back yet, I looked around to make sure there were no hidden cameras and did what comes naturally to me. I snooped. And, lo and behold, when I placed my hand on the seat part, it was loose. I hoisted it up. It had not been screwed down yet! Okay, again sorry, back to the room and therapists’ spill.
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“You might notice the chair is a bit wobbly. That your butt moves up and down and side to side while you’re sitting. No worries. You won’t fall out of it. Just steady yourself. After all, you’ve just got a few loose screws. WE MEAN THE CHAIR HAS GOT A FEW LOOSE SCREWS!!!”
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“Hi Neal,” Rubi greets me at my session three weeks ago. “Come on up.” I follow my therapist to his suite but quickly look back at the chair. And it seems to wiggle and wave a bit. I can’t tell if it is taunting or encouraging me.
This blog category is the journaling and journey-ing of my quest to say (with cautious sincerity) “Hello, Anxiety” and to take a look at the condition from my “me-andering” views.
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NOW — One of the most significant words in my life … right now.
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“Everything we do happens in the present moment. Thinking happens here. Remembering happens here. Feelings unfold in the now, and so do urges. NOW is where our lives are lived.”
— Forsyth and Eifert The Mindfulness & Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety
Why, oh why, do I keep forgetting (often purposefully) this dynamic truth?!
If you are a regular blog follower (and why on earth would you not be?), you may remember that I struggle with GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder), especially as it concerns my irrational fears of breathing issues and throwing up. TMI?
[Side-note: Other than the disgusting TMI above, I’m perfect. Don’t believe me? Okay, just ask HR.]
[Side-note #2: DO NOT try to contact HR for any reason in the foreseeable future. He has disappeared, and I will let you know when I find him.]
Mindfulness practice is trying its best to teach me that attending to right now, just as it is, even with thoughts and feelings of anxiety, is productive. Attending to now steers me away from negatively reacting to my anxiety with doomsday thoughts, emotions and behaviors. Mindfulness encourages me to simply pay attention to those thoughts emotions and behaviors, and to go on with my life.
Well, at least in theory.
My often but always-nonproductive strategy when dealing with the DA (Dragon Anxiety) is to fight it. Fight fire with fire. Denying it, ignoring it, feeling sorry for myself, comparing myself to all those “they-don’t-have-to-joke-about-being-perfect” people out there who NEVER think they are about to stop breathing right now. Or about to vomit. (How I hate that word.)
Whew.
Breathe.
So on this Thursday I set an intention to embrace Now.
I will try to make the best, healthiest choice that Forsyth and Eifert offer in my Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook:
“You can choose to continue your unpleasant experiences with hardness and negative energy. Or you can decide to be kinder and gentler with yourself, to create space between you and what your mind (based on old history) is telling you.”
I’ll try to let Neal’s Now actually be Neal’s Now.
[Side-note #3. I sorta found HR. So I guess you can ask him. I can deal with his answer. Besides his answer is not in Neal’s Now right Now.]
A blog category about finding “art” in unexpected places and situations.
So I was minding my own business, sitting in my study chair …
… meditating on why the Kardashians are still “a thing,” when Robert, who had been in the kitchen working on his ice cream sundae, barreled into the study and shoved this in my face …
“OoKaay,” I said, but really concentrating on Kim’s issue with her bangs.
“No, look, Neal!” (R only calls me by my name when he is animated). “LOOK.”
“Uh, that’s the top of the fudge jar,” I observed.
“No, no,” he squealed, “your Artful Dodger blog category. LOOK.”
NealEnJoy 