The REAL Definition of NEAL

So I have this lower section of a bulletin board in my study, and on it I have placed ideas about future blog posts.

I didn’t really have anything particular in mind today so just grabbed one of the notes:

The first time I ran across urbandictionary.com, I thought, “Oh cool, a site to learn about city life–and to get clear on terms such as ‘mixed-use’ and ‘streetscape.'”   Boy, was I wrong!  You been there?  It’s a “dictionary” which is “written” by you and me, by visitors to the site.  Who needs Webster?!

Take the word “joy,” for example.  You would think, with writing a blog on the subject, I would know what it means, at least in a ballpark figure sort of way, right?  But no, oh no, I’m obviously clueless because according to UD, joy can mean “the hottest chick in the bar, who somehow always manages to get out of trouble.  Can be injury prone, but is a great kisser”  or “someone who is half-Jewish; a combination of the words Jew and goy.”  Boy, do I feel dumb.  Seems that a professorship ain’t worth nothing these days.

But refusing to leave well enough alone, and feeling a bit creative and trickster-ish, I came up with the masterful plan to go to UD and write/publish a definition for my name, Neal.  Again, urbandictionary beat me to the punch:  there are 12–TWELVE–definitions of Neal already there!  Here’s a sampling:

Isn’t that cool how they use the word being defined in a sentence–to facilitate learning, I suppose?

Another UD def of Neal:

I was on a Name High at this point!  You DO realize I’m not making this stuff up, right?  [Go check it out for yourself if you doubt me.  Like my seventh grade teacher Mr. Gene Norton doubted me when I told him that there was a yellow jacket attached to my scalp under my (popular, at the time) hair spray.  I remember feeling as if an ice pick was puncturing my head every five to seven seconds.  Somehow, I kept smiling.  Always do.]

Well, I kept reading urbandictionary.com’s definitions for my name.  Btw, here’s a rule you might wanna keep in mind with UD:  DO NOT KEEP READING. IT ALWAYS LEADS TO POOP AND/OR GENETALIA.

Definition #8:

Tears began to well up at this point, but I couldn’t stop myself.  Could you?

Def # 10:

By this time, in the fetal position and whimpering “Mama,” I began to get angry–especially after reading definition 11–don’t read it!– and decided that I WOULD DECIDE WHAT NEAL MEANS!

I’m Neal!  And here’s what Neal means:

by NRuler on Mar 12, 2012

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P.S. NRuler is me.  Well defined.