So last night I was scrolling though my 25,557 photos (seriously?!) in the “Recents” section of my iPhone. (Recent?!)
And l came across a short series of silly pictures.
It all started when I was grandtwin-sitting Matthew and Madison. (Circa 2013. They were about one at the time.)
MatthewMadison
They seemed a little bored. Staring out the window, obviously looking for greener pastures.
“Bless you, my sissy. Boredom’s trap will not snare us forever.”
I really knew something had gone awry when Matthew started chewing on my shoe strings.
So I came up with a solution to the babysitting challenge. And I’m sure you probably do this too: when all else fails, sit the little ones in containers. Yes? I thought so.
Matthew and an aluminum tub
See? Right?
Madison. “I’m not so sure.”But … okay.
I decided that I would join the fun … until I realized i couldn’t.
Darn
Matthew: “Let’s just look out that window again.”
The twins today and their end-of-the-year school awards ceremony …
4. The sleek new white chairs in my therapist Rubi’s office
I am a firm believer that therapists ALWAYS strategically place items in their waiting areas with hidden (HA!), underlying (probably-childhood related) purposes. Here’s my theory about the photo above.
On second thought, I’ll just let the redecorated room itself—and the therapists whose clients wait in the room—speak for itself and themselves:
“Hi there. And welcome back! Look at how fresh and clean everything looks in our, we mean YOUR, waiting area. A tabla rosa-ness to it, don’t you think? This session you’re about to have can be a new beginning to your mental health. But remember we have to do it in 50 minutes. Sit down and make yourself comfortable.”
“The slanting brown legs on the chair? We’re glad you noticed, but come on, you get that, we’re sure. No? Being grounded of course. Connecting to Mother Earth. Therapy doesn’t go straight down and to the point all at once, for goodness sake. It has to slant, meander, hiccup around for a spell. Sometimes quite a spell. Over MULTIPLE 50-minute sessions. And the FOUR legs? Why earth, wind, fire and water, of course.”
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I’m sorry but I need to interrupt the room and the therapists for a second here. I took the above photo three weeks ago when the room was just being redone. Look closely at the seat part of the chair. See sort of a crack or opening? I did. And since Rubi had not called me back yet, I looked around to make sure there were no hidden cameras and did what comes naturally to me. I snooped. And, lo and behold, when I placed my hand on the seat part, it was loose. I hoisted it up. It had not been screwed down yet! Okay, again sorry, back to the room and therapists’ spill.
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“You might notice the chair is a bit wobbly. That your butt moves up and down and side to side while you’re sitting. No worries. You won’t fall out of it. Just steady yourself. After all, you’ve just got a few loose screws. WE MEAN THE CHAIR HAS GOT A FEW LOOSE SCREWS!!!”
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“Hi Neal,” Rubi greets me at my session three weeks ago. “Come on up.” I follow my therapist to his suite but quickly look back at the chair. And it seems to wiggle and wave a bit. I can’t tell if it is taunting or encouraging me.
Oh. My. Goodness. One of my top five Broadway musicals I’ve ever seen. (Well, I am gay.) All about the crazy expectations we heap upon relationships. (Don’t get HR started.)
I’m glad HR’s my company.
After the play, here’s Robert embarrassingly trying to convince me that he could make it in NY as a Radio City Music Hall Rockette.
“What? You don’t think I could?” he angrily pouted as he stormed away.
I finally caught up with HR and calmed him down with some New York pizza. (Pizza always works.)
But just between us, let’s be honest, HR simply couldn’t do those strut kicks.
4. Daughter Emily giving me this old picture she found at a yard sale. It’s special because we had the same one hanging above our fireplace while she was growing up.
5. Having eyes which can embrace truth. Even difficult truth.
A blog category of pics I’ve taken of HR (Hubby Robert) and … well, just about anything.
Robert and … a weirdly delicious pose.
We were enjoying our specialty brunch donuts at hip restaurant Beetlecat in Atlanta.
I chose the Banana Pudding Donut (wouldn’t you?) and immediately went to work eating it up. Beetlecat is so hip that you order your donut before your entree.
Meanwhile HR, out of focus and in the background (I was enjoying my donut far too much to pay attention to his goings on) had his hands in an awkward position, at least for everyday donut eating.
Robert chose some kind of islandy pineapple-on-top thing.
A blog category of pics I’ve taken of HR (Hubby Robert) and … well, just about anything.
Here’s HR shopping for Fourth of July headgear while showcasing his gay Apple watch band, two necklaces and shiny wedding ring, standing in front of menswear at Target.
NealEnJoy 