Humor – Page 7 – NealEnJoy

“The Artful Dodger“ #25

Posted on February 20, 2025February 20, 2025 by Neal Saye

A blog category about finding “art” in unexpected places and situations.

So Robert and I were at Whole Foods today shopping for a few (emphasis “few”) things: his deionized water (don’t get me started), dried porcini mushrooms (don’t get me started, again — one of his recipes) and my white balsamic vinegar, which I REALLY needed for an incredible salad dressing that I have fallen in love with. (I’m a retired English professor, so I know better than to end a sentence with a proposition, but who cares? I’m retired.)

We were successful with finding the water and the white balsamic vinegar. And all went well until we got to the checkout counter.

For some reason when we tried to scan the white balsamic vinegar, it said “Price cannot be resolved” as if we were in some United Nations mediation.

The delightfully beautiful clerk went to try to figure out what the “Resolve” issue was. She came back, beaming and said “It’s free!“

Our (my) white balsamic vinegar when we got home, proudly standing on our counter.

So then (we’re back at Whole Foods now) we went onto our next item, fresh Turmeric!

Okay, explanation. I have been having a bit of an issue with high blood pressure lately. I have been trying to incorporate both fresh ginger and fresh turmeric into our diet.

I put the turmeric down on the scale thingy.

Walked a little closer.

Walked a little closer still and saw her.

Do you see her? She’s walking to the left with a healthy gait. Encouraging me!

HEALTHY ART! AT WHOLE FOODS!

My Saturday Evening Post

My Saturday Evening Post: 2/15/25 “Mercurial Time”

Posted on February 15, 2025 by Neal Saye

Robert and I drove down to Jacksonville, Florida recently to pick up our new Series 10 Apple Watches. We were long overdue for upgrades. I had the old Series 4 watch, while Robert had the 6.

I’m still not sure I’m smart enough to understand “smart” watches. I remember a watch being this little device you put on your wrist to tell you the time of day. But, oh no, how yesteryear foolish that belief is! The current time is at the very bottom of the hierarchy of smart watch “capabilities.”

Wait. I can ovulate? I didn’t know that!

After we got our little computers attached to our wrists, HR and I headed over to The Cummer Museum of Art and Gardens near Jacksonville’s Five Points neighborhood to sit a while in the sunshine by the St. John’s River and look cool and … timely.

Frustrated that no one was commenting on my coolness, I started walking around the gardens.

When, lo and behold, I suddenly came face to face with … Mercury!

Do you remember Mercury from your little bit of mythology in school? If not, here’s a brief review.

“Mercury was the Roman god of commerce, messengers, eloquence, travelers, and trickery. In the Roman polytheistic religion of many deities, Mercury was one of the most important. He even earned a rank amongst the Dii Consentes, the 12 most important gods and goddesses in Rome.” Study.com

I was pretty impressed with his resume, BUTT …

…he made no comment about my Apple Watch coolness, so I wasted no time and moved on.

Five Friday Happy Bringers

Five Friday Happy Bringers 2/7/25

Posted on February 7, 2025 by Neal Saye

My weekly gratitude journal, of sorts.

1. Savannah winter camellias … in my bathroom.

2. My Crock Pot Sunday Sirloin Tip Roast, which we had, well, last Sunday.

Here’s a photo timeline of how it went down.

Put it in the Crock Pot, then walk away for eight hours.

But unlike Lot’s unfortunate wife, you know in the Sodom and Gomorrah saga, I did not look back and be turned into a pillar of Morton Salt.

Gracious, do I ever look like a grumpy old man, even if I am wearing my Christmas jammy pants, which may be out of season, but oh so comfortable and fashionable.

Eight hours later …

And because I’m sure you want to know, I’m out of my Christmas jammy pants by now. But seriously, do they expect you to wear your holiday attire ONLY on the holiDAY itself?!

Oh my GOODness!

Okay, I’ve probably brought you to near catastrophic boredom ranting about this roast, but do you know the difference between top and tip sirloin? I admit that I did not. Well, let AI inform us …

Here is what AI did not tell you: “tip” is substantially cheaper than “top,” (which is why I bought it to begin with).

You can now splash some cold water on your face and continue reading about my remaining Happy Bringers.

3. The amazing ability to SEE! In any direction. Take a moment to be grateful for this miracle. Everybody doesn’t have it.

4. Somehow, on a walk yesterday afternoon near us here in Savannah, being able to see a little beauty even in the wake of destruction.

A tree which had to be cut back because of disease.

Or maybe that’s not beauty. What do you think?

5. Completing 14,000 minutes of meditation this week.

But seriously, wouldn’t you think I’d be a bit more … enlightened by now?! Instead of still sometimes wondering what meditation actually is.

May you have a WONDERful Weekend ahead.

Food Joy

It Takes Muscle to Eat a Mussel.

Posted on February 6, 2025February 6, 2025 by Neal Saye

Living in Coastal Georgia, I LOVE fresh seafood.

HR does too, as long as it’s shrimp, lobster, crab, crayfish or fish. He turns his nose up at oysters, clams and mussels. Poor thing.

So the other day, we were at Fresh Market stocking up on a few weekly deals. We were chatting with our favorite butcher lady, Lise, who just happened to be standing behind the counter hovering dangerously close (I thought) over several bags of fresh mussels.

I absolutely LOVE steamed mussels in garlic and white wine sauce. So I grabbed a bag (before Lise fell on them).

She gave me the suggestion to use leeks instead of shallots “for a better flavor profile.” Ooookaayy.

The next day, I pulled out my Julia Child apron and went at it.

Did you know that first you have to wash the mussels in cold water and … all purpose flour?

“Why?” you ask.

Well, to put a little beard on them, of course! “Beard” is actually the term used in my favorite recipe. The beard somehow attaches to any dirt or grime that still may be on them.

The beard is the little white line at the crack of the mussel where the flour adheres.

The next step is to use your finger to wipe away all those little beards. Which is harder to do than it sounds. And which borders on disgusting.

So I de-beard very quickly and get on with the more fun parts.

Next you throw together your base consisting of white wine, chicken stock, heavy cream, lemon juice, shallots, garlic, red pepper flakes, lemon zest and juice, parsley, salt and pepper. Whew.

Add the mussels and steam the big mess for about five minutes.