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2022 Democracy?
Tag: Life experiences
My Saturday Evening Post: 7/30/22 “Temperature Challenge”
I’m sure someone can beat me, but here’s our crazy heat in Savannah this afternoon …
If you need any eggs fried, just send them to me, and I’ll put them on my car hood.
What’s it like in your neck of the woods?
Five Friday Happy Bringers 7/29/22
1. Celebrating with daughter Amy adding another physician to her medical company here in Savannah, Coastal Care Partners. This time a young new pediatrician.
So of course, Robert and I had to get in on the action (and free food). Here we are with Amy and her hubby, co-partner Scott at the ribbon-cutting.
2. The wind beneath my wings.
4. HR and I taking grandtwins Matthew and Madison, little Isabelle and ex-wife Donna to the Jepson Center for the Arts here in Savannah for a morning of exploration and joy.
4. The incredible ability to be thankful. And to recognize, celebrate all that we have — our lives, our breath, our hopes and dreams. Our feet and shoes to house them. Our fingers and their ability to touch.
5. HR letting me strategically place various items on his head for photographic practice …
… while he looks at a duck cookie sporting his name.
I hope you’re looking at a happy, healthy weekend ahead.
Five Friday Happy Bringers 7/15/22
1. HR’s pizza! Oh my. Goodness.
2. Waking up to a brand new day each morning. What an incredible blessing! (Especially after the picture above.)
3. Elephant Ears.
Stop it! On the plant, not on me!
One of my top three favorite plants in the whole wide world. Here’s an old post about the reasons why …
4. The sleek new white chairs in my therapist Rubi’s office
I am a firm believer that therapists ALWAYS strategically place items in their waiting areas with hidden (HA!), underlying (probably-childhood related) purposes. Here’s my theory about the photo above.
On second thought, I’ll just let the redecorated room itself—and the therapists whose clients wait in the room—speak for itself and themselves:
“Hi there. And welcome back! Look at how fresh and clean everything looks in our, we mean YOUR, waiting area. A tabla rosa-ness to it, don’t you think? This session you’re about to have can be a new beginning to your mental health. But remember we have to do it in 50 minutes. Sit down and make yourself comfortable.”
“The slanting brown legs on the chair? We’re glad you noticed, but come on, you get that, we’re sure. No? Being grounded of course. Connecting to Mother Earth. Therapy doesn’t go straight down and to the point all at once, for goodness sake. It has to slant, meander, hiccup around for a spell. Sometimes quite a spell. Over MULTIPLE 50-minute sessions. And the FOUR legs? Why earth, wind, fire and water, of course.”
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I’m sorry but I need to interrupt the room and the therapists for a second here. I took the above photo three weeks ago when the room was just being redone. Look closely at the seat part of the chair. See sort of a crack or opening? I did. And since Rubi had not called me back yet, I looked around to make sure there were no hidden cameras and did what comes naturally to me. I snooped. And, lo and behold, when I placed my hand on the seat part, it was loose. I hoisted it up. It had not been screwed down yet! Okay, again sorry, back to the room and therapists’ spill.
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“You might notice the chair is a bit wobbly. That your butt moves up and down and side to side while you’re sitting. No worries. You won’t fall out of it. Just steady yourself. After all, you’ve just got a few loose screws. WE MEAN THE CHAIR HAS GOT A FEW LOOSE SCREWS!!!”
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“Hi Neal,” Rubi greets me at my session three weeks ago. “Come on up.” I follow my therapist to his suite but quickly look back at the chair. And it seems to wiggle and wave a bit. I can’t tell if it is taunting or encouraging me.
5. Clouds.
I hope clouds bring you joy this weekend.
Hello, Anxiety. “Now”
This blog category is the journaling and journey-ing of my quest to say (with cautious sincerity) “Hello, Anxiety” and to take a look at the condition from my “me-andering” views.
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NOW — One of the most significant words in my life … right now.
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“Everything we do happens in the present moment. Thinking happens here. Remembering happens here. Feelings unfold in the now, and so do urges. NOW is where our lives are lived.”
— Forsyth and Eifert The Mindfulness & Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety
Why, oh why, do I keep forgetting (often purposefully) this dynamic truth?!
If you are a regular blog follower (and why on earth would you not be?), you may remember that I struggle with GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder), especially as it concerns my irrational fears of breathing issues and throwing up. TMI?
[Side-note: Other than the disgusting TMI above, I’m perfect. Don’t believe me? Okay, just ask HR.]
[Side-note #2: DO NOT try to contact HR for any reason in the foreseeable future. He has disappeared, and I will let you know when I find him.]
Mindfulness practice is trying its best to teach me that attending to right now, just as it is, even with thoughts and feelings of anxiety, is productive. Attending to now steers me away from negatively reacting to my anxiety with doomsday thoughts, emotions and behaviors. Mindfulness encourages me to simply pay attention to those thoughts emotions and behaviors, and to go on with my life.
Well, at least in theory.
My often but always-nonproductive strategy when dealing with the DA (Dragon Anxiety) is to fight it. Fight fire with fire. Denying it, ignoring it, feeling sorry for myself, comparing myself to all those “they-don’t-have-to-joke-about-being-perfect” people out there who NEVER think they are about to stop breathing right now. Or about to vomit. (How I hate that word.)
Whew.
Breathe.
So on this Thursday I set an intention to embrace Now.
I will try to make the best, healthiest choice that Forsyth and Eifert offer in my Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook:
“You can choose to continue your unpleasant experiences with hardness and negative energy. Or you can decide to be kinder and gentler with yourself, to create space between you and what your mind (based on old history) is telling you.”
I’ll try to let Neal’s Now actually be Neal’s Now.
[Side-note #3. I sorta found HR. So I guess you can ask him. I can deal with his answer. Besides his answer is not in Neal’s Now right Now.]
Monday Moaning or Monday Marveling? 7/11/22
Marveling at—and being grateful for—life’s many and mini simple luxuries. Such as tuna salad and tomato on romaine.
When I really look at, attend to, the everyday simple joys in my life, they seem to grow larger in perspective.
What do you find marvelous today?
Leaning in to the Lovely
There is just so much ugliness and negativity in our world today. Many of us are struggling with heightened anxiety because of the nearly constant bad news showing up on our devices and making its way into our minds and bodies.
So I am going to try (emphasis on “try”) to lean into the lovely when I see it.
The endangered Longleaf Pine is my favorite tree, so on our travels, I love looking for Longleaf’s relatives. Here are some cousins HR and I saw while up in the Catskills recently.
I’m leaning into the lovely, life-enhancing pines.
Can you smell them? Deliciously healthy fragrance.
One-Word Wednesday: 7/6/22
“Tired”
P.S New York-ing can wear you out!
P.S. 2. HR loves to take awkward pics of me when I don’t know he’s doing so.
“These Vagabond Shoes” #3
Daily nerdy notes on our New York getaway.
I’m very picky about my coffee, basically thinking that all coffee EXCEPT DUNKIN’ DONUTS tastes like black ashes in hot water. So I was very pleasantly surprised when I discovered the cute little, gay-owned coffee shop, Kahve in Hell’s Kitchen close to our hotel.
The coffee was delicious!
Robert and I signed up for a Gay Pride Tour here in New York. We were to meet at Christopher Park in Greenwich Village near the iconic Stonewall Inn (arguably the birthplace of the gay rights movement).
We arrived a bit early. Stood in the tiny park for a while. Then heard two loud explosions and saw black smoke billowing from the apartment building next to the Stonewall!
We watched as the frazzled residents were rushed out of the building, and the fire engines loudly arrived.
Well, this is New York, so our plucky guide Joe went on with the tour for HR, a handful of friendly folks from the UK and me.
Thankfully the fire was extinguished, and the firemen put away the hoses.
What a smokin’ tour!
Well, the tour and the fire left us hungry and thirsty. so we headed to Julius, New York’s oldest gay bar, for incredible burgers and a pint.
Julius was the site of the “Sip-ins” of the 1960’s, fashioned after the Sit-ins of the Civil Rights movement. Gay folks went to bars, said they were homosexuals and were refused service, leading to widespread awareness of LGBTQ discrimination-and eventual changes in the laws.
What a fiery gay day we had!
NealEnJoy 