This blog category is the journaling and journey-ing of my quest to say (with cautious sincerity) “Hello, Anxiety” and to take a look at the condition from my “me-andering” views.
I recently came across this definition for anxiety, which rang so true for me.
“Anxiety — a condition in which the brain’s alarm bells keep on ringing, ringing, and ringing … Long after they have served any useful function.”
(from Transcendence: Healing and Transformation through Transcendental Meditation)
P.S. Just between us, I really don’t like some definitions, truthful though they may be.
(Or is the plural of “Happy” spelled “Happies”? The jury seems to be out on that question.)
This blog category is the journaling and journey-ing of my quest to say (with cautious sincerity) “Hello, Anxiety” and to take a look at the condition from my “me-andering” views.
I LOVE yellow. It’s such a standout HAPPY color.
Bouquet in the lobby of Resorts World Catskills back in JulyField near the hotelAtlanta Botanical Garden
I also love Happy. Happiness. Happier.
I even have a Happy Cup! Don’t you?
I like him because he’s always happy. No matter which way you turn or spin him. No matter what you put in him. Even hot coffee! Even with his fine line wrinkles (look at pic closely).
The cute little jokester!
A contributing factor to my ongoing issue/challenge/frustration with anxiety is that I aspire to be that Happy Cup. After all, I write a blog named “NealEnJoy”! So when Unhappy (i.e., breathing difficulty, fear of nausea, etc.) comes a knockin, my first response is often to ignore it (as if) and with gritted teeth BE HAPPY. Or more honestly put, pretend to be happy.
This opposites-competing cognitive dissonance is not fun or … happy. Try though I do to keep happiness wound up.
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Here’s my Happy Holder. What, you don’t have one?
He doesn’t turn around or spin in quite the same way as my Happy Cup.
And he irritatingly tells me that my blog should more truthfully be named “NealDoesn’tALWAYSEnJoy.” Because Neal (or anyone else) doesn’t always.
“Backside” thinks he’s so smart he even quotes Jung.
A DIFFICULT BUT TRUTHFUL LESSON.
But I have to confess that I still prefer Holder’s “front” side …
This blog category is the journaling and journey-ing of my quest to say (with cautious sincerity) “Hello, Anxiety” and to take a look at the condition from my “me-andering” views.
A blog category about finding “art” in unexpected places and situations.
So I was walking down the hall, mindfully minding my own business, when I looked over and saw Boopers perched in what seemed to be a deep transcendental meditative trance.
I looked closer, behind the meditating cat, and saw … this.
Her? Him? They? A … being, with two eyes, both upper and lower noses, a tongue-y mouth, not to mention hair that could use a shampoo.
I waited impatiently until Boopers finished with a Downward Dog and an ardent “Namaste!” and asked if he knew who that was behind him.
“All I can tell you,” Boopers coyly purred in Zen-like calmness, “is that her name is Cordy and I find her smile electrifying.”
I walked away, satisfied with his answer, then turned around to see Boopers standing intimately close to Cordy, staring into her eyes.
1. Realizing that some broken things CAN be fixed.
My special wooden “N” (for Neal) that I somehow dropped and splintered.
But now it’s back on the top of my Desires Board, next to Mr. Happy and down just a bit from my Yes Stick. (Okay, I can see your furrowed brow. During the pandemic, HR and I traveled to a bunch of Georgia State parks, where we went on many a hike. I would often see a Y-shaped stick or tree branch on the trail and tell Robert it was a Yes Stick, to pause and think of something to say “Yes!” to. On one marvel-ous hike at Tugaloo State Park, HR saw this Y Stick, brought it home and shellacked it for us. Yes! TMI?)
2. The incredible ability to walk (which I usually just take for granted). To be able to put one foot in front of the other … and go forward! Try it!
3. Finally finishing with Robert this week the eye-, mind- and heart-opening A New Origin Story: The 1619 Project.
A difficult but so important read about the role that slavery and racism played in our nation’s founding—and continues to play in the U.S. today.
I wish its meticulously documented truths could be taught in every high school.
NealEnJoy 